Everyone dreads being swiped left. What if you use a wheelchair — better to show it or not? Disabled singles talk about creepy messages, insulting suitors and the dates that restored their faith in romance. The swipe function of Tinder may have become synonymous with criticisms of a more shallow, disposable take on dating but, for Jones — who has cerebral palsy and epilepsy — downloading the app last year was a chance to free herself from the snap judgments she has had to deal with offline. Online, I [can] speak to them for a day or so before revealing anything. Last month, Tinder users took to social media to expose the discrepancy between their Tinder photos and what they really look like — think flattering angles, body-con dresses and blow-dries, versus double chins, coffee-stained T-shirts and bed hair. Unknowingly, a fleeting trend pointed to the dilemma that disabled online daters routinely find themselves in: do I show my disability in the photo? Middleton, who is currently setting up a disability awareness business, speaks with a straight-talking confidence but, online, she found herself trying various methods to broach the subject.
1.1. Dating Websites
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When Nemoy Malcolm arrived at Sydney Airport after a long journey from his home in the US, he knew exactly who he was looking for. Feeling a mixture of excitement and trepidation, Nemoy — who lost his vision in his teens — asked a flight attendant to help him find “the woman with the dog”. That woman was Krystal Keller, who was also blind. The pair had developed a strong connection over eight months of conversations online, and decided to take the plunge and see if their relationship worked as well in real life.
Nemoy described Krystal’s outfit to the flight attendant as they searched the arrivals hall. It was the first time the pair had ever met, but Nemoy said it felt like they’d known each other for years. After several trips between the US and Australia, the couple married in and have two sons, aged nine and one. Now, Nemoy is sharing his fairytale story with other people living with disability to help them become more confident with dating.
Nemoy, 40, has teamed up with Sarah Taylor, 39, to run a series of forums through advocacy organisation Vision Australia. The Brisbane mother of two, who also lives with a vision impairment, found herself back on the dating scene after her marriage of 10 years broke down. It wasn’t quite what she hoped for.
She said she wasn’t sure when or how to disclose her disability to prospective partners, and found popular apps difficult to navigate because they did not include image descriptions, meaning screen-reading programs could not describe photos. The forums Sarah and Nemoy are running are designed to break down stigma, allow people with disability to share stories and advice, and help those in search of romance to feel more confident.
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Something strange happened to me today, so usual that it made me question my reality. How do people really see me? Do they see my disability dog and tripod walker before they see me? Or was it the other way round? Importantly does disability act as some kind of deterrent, or are people more opened -minded that I thought they were? So I began to look for answers, I was surprised by what I found.
I always think of it like this: if I stumbled across a profile on a dating site of a You’ve used your filter to find a nice guy/girl with plenty of potential, spoken about.
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Special Bridge is a private dating site and online social community designed to help meet the social and emotional needs of its members. Through a supportive and friendly environment, people of all ability levels can make new friends in a fun, private, and welcoming setting. Whether you want to find a romantic relationship or a simple lasting friendship, Special Bridge can help its members find their perfect matches.
When you sign up for Special Bridge, you will feel welcomed and supported by a private community that truly understands how difficult it can be to meet new people with similar disabilities. Find other people with similar interests, disabilities or even someone in your local area. We do not allow for fake profiles.
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As I opened the dating site I wondered — had they read my profile? Did they know that I had a disability? There were guys who turned me off.
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